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Why little Gestures Matter in a Relationship

Movies and television have provided so many images of grand gestures that lovers or spouses make for each other that many of us have preconceived ideas that we must fill our partner’s birthday or anniversary with large, over the top gifts or events.  Not to say that receiving a diamond tennis bracelet or new set of golf clubs would be disappointing!    

Giving a thoughtful gift or planning a spectacular event to celebrate a special occasion is part of the fun of being in a relationship.  Knowing your spouse so well that you can plan a gift or event that they never expressed a desire for, yet will thrill them beyond belief is greatly appreciated.  Filling the rest of the days of the year, the ordinary days, with gestures of love that come from the heart is the foundation of deep and lasting relationships.

The small things we do for our partner on those ordinary days mean so much because they are not expected.  Listening to and knowing each other is the foundation of a strong relationship.  Does your mate enjoy a relaxing cup of coffee on the weekend?  Make a pot just the way they like it and deliver a cup just as they are waking up.  Does one of you do the majority of the grocery shopping?  Think how appreciative your spouse would be if you offered to do the shopping one weekend so they could relax and read a few more chapters of the book they just started reading.  If your partner does the majority of the cooking for the family, surprise them by preparing dinner.  Occasionally taking care of each other’s household chores provides a short day off. 

Sincerity and spontaneity often lead to the most appreciated moments.  Seeing a candle at the store you know your partner would love or picking up their favorite candy bar at the gas station are just a few of the ways you remind them of how much you love them.  Taking the laundry out the dryer and putting it away while your mate is on the phone shows respect and consideration.  These are the moments you remember with a smile a few days later. 

Small gestures also include unexpected shows of affection.  In addition to a hello and goodbye kiss, try reaching over and kissing your partner during a commercial while watching your favorite show.  Is your spouse cheerfully enduring a party with all of your work friends?  Let them know how much you appreciate their support by a quick rub on the back.  Have you ever seen an older couple walking and holding hands?  They are quietly showing their partner that they are still the most important person in the world.

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