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Ultimate Big Brother the Final 10 September 2010

Big Brother has deceased. With the tree of temptation, which was then transformed into a chest of drawers of temptation, now being an eligible candidate as material for Big Brother’s coffin. Despite what the critics say, I think BB has always been immense, and Ultimate BB was a fantastic way for the show to go out with a bang.

So let’s talk about Ultimate Big Brother. A mish-mash of some of the most memorable housemates (well, the ones that actually wanted to go back into the house), it aimed to crown an ultimate big brother winner, the most amazing housemate of all time. Who went in? Well, there was Nikki “WHO IS SHE?! WHO IS SHE?! WHERE DID YOU FIND HER?!” Grahame (who surprisingly managed not to have too many tantrums, although did have a big obsession with wanting to change beds), Coolio (which his hairstyle like a bunch of retarded spiders), John McCririck (yes, he does still have that awful ginger fuzz on his face and still wears giant white nappies, i mean briefs, to bed), Victor “Slick Vic, the V-I-C, V.I.P” Ebuwa, Vanessa Feltz (QUICK! HIDE THE CHALK!), Chantelle “Kandy Floss with a K” Houghton, Preston, The African Queen Makosi, Ulrika-ka-ka-ka (I wish she’d put that boniness away, it’s just not pretty, someone give the poor girl some schnitzel), Nadia, Not-so-nasty-anymore Nick (he’s such a nice guy! a little boring if I’m going to be honest, but nice!), Josie (winner of this year’s BB, who left because being apart from the eyeliner-wearing Aussie was just too much for the Bristolian to bear), Michelle “NOOOO NAKED JACUZZI-NESS!” Bass and the winner of Ultimate Big Brother… Brian Dowling *diva click*. I must say I am so happy that Brian won.

Alas, the BB send off was memorable, with Davina getting teary-eyed as a clip of filmed messages for shown dedicated to her being an unforgettably entertaining host, and a lovely tribute to Jade Goody, a Big Brother’s Big Mouth special with George and Davina and Pete Burns *shudders* performing to close the show, and a nice little part where Dermot had a little dinner party with other memorable housemates such as Brian Belo (one of his best moments was when he was asked by Big Brother to come up with as many different words for women as he could, and one of the words he said was ‘vagina’). Also, we were delighted with an 8 out of 10 Cats BB Special (well they do that every year once a BB series has finished, but this one was extra special) with Josie as one of the panelists. Overall, what can be said is, “Oi Oi, psst, you there, Big Brother will never be forgotten. Now p*ss off and leave me alone to rest in peace.”- The Tree Of Temptation.