Here Come The Newlyweds.
The first thing that comes to mind when I think about, “Here Come The Newlyweds” is, Oh my god this is car-crash TV at it’s worst, or, at its best, depending on where you’re coming from. The show starts off with seven handsome and seemingly joyful young couples eager to befriend each other and make plans to swap Christmas cards. But how long can it last? I mean the whole premise of the show is to pit these, cheery cherubs, against each other, until one by one each couple is booted out and we are left with one seriously damaged relationship, armed with a few hundred thousand dollars.
Let me just say that I know couples that have been together for years and are as solid as a rock who wouldn’t stand a chance after entering a competition like this. But the thing is, at least they have been around long enough to now it. This leads me to ask the question; what possesses a couple to ever even think of putting themselves through something like this show? Can it be purely greed? Surely no amount of would be worth it. I’m not saying that the couples that have entered this show are stupid… oh no, wait, I am. They have to be insane to go on this show.
Of course, if asked, I’m sure they would say that they are not insane but rather empowered by their oneness; because they know that their relationship is solid enough and that they are in love enough to win this show, soul mate to soul mate, joyfully in harmony, together against the world. God, you have to love the naivete of youth. What’s worse, is that one of the couples have been married a totally of seven time already. Clearly they have learned nothing from these experiences.
The fact that the host, Pat Bullard, is a comedian should tell us all something. Pat stands there grinning while the couples whoop and holler as they size each other up. But of course at this stage everybody is smiling. The couples are smiling because it’s the polite thing to do while they sharpen their knives and Pat is smiling because he knows what’s coming up the road for these naive fools.
The first cracks however, began to appear in these artificially magnetized couples early on, when the men were given the task of performing a comedy act where they had to lampoon their wives. The men of course, being men, really went for this. Of course it’s a competition, so their wives would understand, wouldn’t they? You can just see the scene a few years from now (if they last that long). The whole family is sitting around the table at Thanksgiving and over the turkey everything that poor fool said in that competition will be dragged out, agonizing detail by agonizing detail. And as his wife cries into the cranberry sauce and her father is glaring at him, our poor husband will be thinking, “what did I do wrong,” as his wife’s sister is consoling her and reminding her that all men are bas*s.
The first couple to be voted out of the competition was Fawziah and Atif Bajwa, an Indian couple who had, had an arranged marriage after only ever meeting once. Did they ever stand a chance? Well of coursed not. An arranged marriage is not something that sits well with the American psyche and of course, the fact that the couple spent most of the time away from the group; (probably trying to get to know one another) they were prime candidates for the early chop.
Next week the show is putting our hapless contenders through a relationship test. God love them. You can almost smell the disintegration coming over the horizon. All I can say is that the divorce lawyers must be queuing up outside the studio just rubbing their hands together, waiting in gleeful anticipation.