Moving in together is a massive step forward for any couple. It is a decision that can come with many pitfalls and requires a lot of thought. It can test even the most solid of relationships and put strains and stresses on both individuals that can cause break ups.
There are a lot of things to discuss before moving in and these are all important issues. However, when it boils down to it, there are really only three questions that one needs to ask him or herself to know if moving in together is the right idea.
What are my/our long term ambitions?
One of the most common reasons for people breaking up is that they do not have the same life goals and gradually grow apart. It is important that the couple share similar ambitions. Not only can they help spur each other on to achieve these goals, but they are both fully aware of where the other person wants to be and are willing to be there with them.
If your goals are going to take you places that your partner does not wish to go, or vice versa, then it is best to break off the relationship. Letting your dreams and ambitions fade away can cause resentment to build up over time. One starts to blame their partner because they are not where they want to be, or their life did not turn out the way they planned.
It is hugely important to discuss this topic with your partner early on in the relationship so that no time is wasted in a relationship that is ultimately going nowhere.
What are the financial implications?
Although this is not based on how you feel about the other person, it is a very important question to ask yourself and may, if not thought about correctly, being to influence how you feel about the other person.
Checking to make sure you have a good enough income to support yourself and your partner is essential. Rent, food, bills and other essential items must be shared and paid for on a regular basis. If you are earning more than your partner and are relied upon to pay more than your fair share, then you must know this before moving in and make your decision based on full knowledge of how you and your partner stand financially.
Not having enough money to pay for these essentials will lead to debt. Money troubles can cause a lot of stress that can transfer over to the relationship and cause arguments and ill health. Paying more than your partner can also cause frustration if you were not aware of the situation beforehand. Therefore, make sure you are aware of all financial implications beforehand.
Do I see a future with my boyfriend/girlfriend? –
Perhaps the most obvious question to ask yourself concerning any big decision in a relationship is the above. Moving in together is a huge step and a sign of commitment to the other person. To many, moving in together precedes engagement and marriage and is a sign that you are ready to share your life with your partner.
If you are not ready for that commitment or you do not see a serious future with the other person then you should not move in together. This question is the most important of all and should involve much thought to make the right decision.
Breaking up, if you decide to, before moving in, will be far easier than breaking up after moving in together. Staying with someone for the sake of being in a relationship or so you are not alone is not a good enough reason to stay together, let alone move in together.
Make sure that you ask yourself these important questions before you take the very serious, complicated and important step of moving in together. There are so many possible pitfalls that can occur that can be avoided by taking some time out to think about your situation and make the correct and informed decision.