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Movie Reviews Burial Ground the Nights of Terror

My synopsis is somewhat less elaborate than usual, and the reason I state this is I saw the film in Italian with English subtitles just prior to the films release. But then Vipco went and released a dubbed version without the Italian names, replacing the Italian names with names from a more Western culture. Fiorre for example became Janet; but I wont lie the confusion meant I cannot be certain of any of the characters names. One name that stayed the same was Nicholas, and I thank the stars for that as I have so much to say about him.

The story is simple a professor is working in a crypt, he unintentionally opens something he should not have, and before you know it the dead are walking around the crypt. Like with most zombie films if a zombie bites you, you slowly die before becoming a zombie (that’s unless they just eat you).
From here we are taken off to a grand looking house where there seems to be a gathering of friends; however we must use the terminology friends in the loosest possible terms, because right from the offset its blatantly obvious these people don’t like each other.

The owners of the house are rather wealthy people well at least it seems so rather like that TV show of the 1960’s the Pruitts Of Southampton, its all an elaborate act. In fact the home owners are flat broke. And they have called all the people they know with money to the house to invest in things and to sell property to those that don’t want to invest. The father is rather lacking in social niceties, he actually is obsessed with something (that you never find out about). The mother is a very “loving” mother who has her own obsession, her son Nicholas.
No sooner has everybody settled in the house has one of the residents gone for a walk through the grounds only to have his intestines pulled out through his belly button by a rather amusing looking zombie. From that moment, the attacked resident persuades (in his new zombie mode) to get the other zombie to storm the house as there is lots of nice food (people) inside.

The night of terror has begun!

Cast

Karin Well …. Janet
Gianluigi Chirizzi …. Mark (as Gian Luigi Chirizzi)
Simone Mattioli …. James
Antonella Antinori …. Leslie
Roberto Caporali …. George
Claudio Zucchet …. Nicholas
Peter Bark …. Michael
Anna Valente …. Kathleen

The Zombie Dead is without a doubt one of the oddest movies I have ever seen in my entire life. Directed by Andrea Bianchi which I suspect will mean little to you, but in Italy he is although quite a popular director regarded on the whole as a bit of a joke. All his movies are appalling; however with this one its appalling nature makes it so good. Believe me when I tell you that this movie is as funny as The Naked Gun.

Most of the humour for me comes from Nicholas whose real life persona is Claudio Zucchet, having been officially recognised as a dire actor in the 1990’s he found God, but not in the way you may think. He decided to stay within acting and specialises in one specific area, yes ladies and gentleman he is the only religious stuntman. I know that’s sounds odd, you may be thinking lots of stunt men may be religious. But Zucchet will only be a stuntman in religious epics, if it does not involve God or strict reference to God he won’t be in it.

Back to the plot Nicolas is a 14 year old child. The problem here is that when Zucchet played the role of Nicholas he was 37 years old. To add to the amusement he clearly looks at least 45 years old. So here you have “a child” who plays with toys, cries a lot, and is generally terrified by the events that surround him; however he looks like a 45 year old man; add to this he is also one of the most peculiar looking actors I have ever seen. Worse still Nicholas and his mother have a very special relationship, if you get my drift. And in one legendary scene while zombies are knocking at the door Nicholas is sucking his mothers breasts while masturbating her. The funniest scene is where Nicholas turns to his mother and states “Mommy, this cloth smells of death” how would a 14 year old child know what death smelled like? And let me not forget “Mommy, you offer yourself to Daddy like you are a piece of meat, you are my meat MOMMY! MY MEEEEAT!”

The laughs don’t just come from Nicholas, the other actors performances are hysterical, as is the scenarios that surround them.. In one scene a maid looks out of the window, while under the window a zombie just happens to be hanging about with a scythe. And this is not the end of the zombies using weapons and tools. In most zombie movies they bash through doors with there bare hands, here they make a battering ram. In order to gain access to the house they have a series of knives which they throw with great accuracy. And of course there is a zombie with a flame thrower.

The special effects go from being utterly disgusting, but obviously fake; to the ridiculous. In a scene where peoples stomachs are ripped open they have used I suspect cows organs, which look awful but obviously fake as the size of the organs are far too big to be human ones. However if a head comes off all that comes out are red noodles, and not soft ones. In another vicious attack scene we discover that a victims skin is not made of flesh, but in fact newspaper.

If you are looking for gross out horror, then Zombie Dead will mildly give you that. If you’re looking for a scare I’d suggest bursting a balloon. But if you are looking for a movie that will make you laugh so hard that your stomach will ache and your cheeks will be soaking wet with tears the Zombie Dead is the movie for you. I won’t recommend you do not buy this movie, in fact I believe as many people should see it that can. However what has given me an area of doubt is how to rate this movie, you see I rate it highly as a comedy, but it’s not meant to be funny. So how do you rate something like this? I have chosen to rate this as a comedy, because few upon watching this have disagreed that this is the correct category for such a movie.