Honoring & Appreciating parents especially “Mother”- a symbol of supreme sacrifice.
Honor thy Mother and Father is one of those spiritual commonalities that Muslims and Non-Muslims alike dearly love to share. One of the Ten Commandments that God gave to Moses on the mountain top is,”Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you”. (Exodus 20:12). Dutifulness to parents, especially the mother, and treating them kindly is an act of worship enjoined in both the Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh). Maltreatment of parents is one of the most deadly sins in Islam. How do people treat their parents in the present time- to refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this “My mom only had one eye. I hated her, she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family; there was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me. I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said,”EEEE, your mom only has one eye; wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. So I confronted her that day and said, “If you’re only goanna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die? My mom did not respond. I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go to Mumbai to study. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, “How dare you come to my house and scare my children, GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!” And to this, my mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared out of sight. One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Mumbai. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity; My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have .”My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to Mumbai and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion, but I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see…when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. With my love to youYour mother.” The narrated story is a fact or fiction, Allah knows the best, The mercy and affection that the parent has for his or her children does not need any explanation or declaration’s examples of such despicable behaviors are present in our traditional society they may differ in magnitude and way of presentation.Uquq(disrespectful,unkind,undutiful) has become so rampant in the present time ,that it makes the heart bleed when compared to the way our salaf(companions of Prophet) used to treat their parents. Many Muslims think more highly of friends than of their parents. An incident of my college days is still irking my mind, when a medico daughter introduced her modestly dressed father as a domestic helper to her friends. The hearts of the iniquitous are dead because they are oblivious to God, and the hearts of the heedless are sick because they ignore His commandments (A.S) Islam uses the Arabic word “birr” in connection with children’s attitude towards their parents. The term connotes kindness, compassion, benevolence, and almost every aspect of good and generous treatment of others. According to Prophet (pbuh), the behavior towards the parents of a certain person leads him to Heaven or Hell. A person once asked the Prophet (pbuh), “Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind treatment?” The prophet told him to be kind to his mother. Three times he put the same question to the prophet, and three times he got the same answer. When he asked the question the fourth time, he was told to be kind to his father, indicating that the mother’s right took precedence over that of the father. It is no exaggeration to say that respecting and caring the parents is a virtue of the highest order that continues to transcend generation after generation, those who treat and obey their parents can rest assured that their children will also show kindness and compassion to them. Since this is an important duty that Allah emphasized, some youngsters need to understand this in the light of the Holy Quran and Prophet’s sayings,” Paradise lies under the feet of the mother.” On the other hand, if he is disrespectful and rude to them, offends them by ignoring their needs and feelings or causes them grief in any manner, his place shall be in Hell. In modern times, a trend has arisen in west whereby when parents come to be seen as a liability because of old age and physical weakness. They are then sent to ‘old people’s homes’. Unfortunately, sometimes this disposition gets even worse and distorted, people start viewing their own existence with resentment. Consequently, they blame their parents for bringing them into this world or that they may not be living at the ease and joy they think they deserve. The Prophet ( Pbuh)has said that to abuse one’s parents is a major sin. And thy Lord has decreed that you shall not serve any but Him, and to be good to parents; if one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, do not say to them, `Uff`(fie) nor scold them; but speak to them kind words. And lower to them the wings of humbleness out of mercy, and say, my Lord, have mercy on them, as they brought me up when I was little’.(17;23-24)It also implies that we should take extreme care of the sentiments, habits, temperament and likes and dislikes of mothers. Once, when the Prophet (Pbuh) was talking to his companions a man came and addressed him, “O Messenger of Allah ! A young man is breathing his last. People are asking him to recite Shahadah but he is unable to do so.” The Prophet(pbuh) asked, “Did this man offer salah (during his life)?” The answer was yes. Then he accompanied the man to the house of the dying young man along with others present at the time. The man was at the end of his life’s journey. The Messenger of Allah advised him to offer the Shahadah. The man replied that he was unable to do so as the words would not come out of his mouth. He (Pbuh) then called for the mother of the dying man whom he had disobeyed persistently. When his aged mother approached the scene, the Prophet (PBUH) asked, ‘Respected lady, is he your son?” She replied yes. He then asked her a question, “O respected lady, if we threaten to throw your son into a raging fire, would you recommend him to be forgiven?” The lady replied that she would definitely do so at that time. The Prophet (PBUH) then said to her, “If so, declare, making Allah and me your witnesses, that you are mow pleased with him.” The old woman readily declared, “O Allah, you and your Messenger be my witness that I am pleased with this beloved son of mine.” Just after that, the Prophet (PBUH) turned to the dying man and asked him to recite, “There is no god but Allah, He is the One and has no partners and I witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger.” By the virtue of the forgiveness of his mother, he found the words flowing out of his mouth and he recited the Shahadah. Seeing this, the Prophet (Pbuh) praised Almighty Allah and thanked Him saying, “Thanks to Almighty Allah that He saved this man from the fearful fire of Hell through me.” (Tabarani, Ahmad). Our parents didn’t choose any special day or moment to express there love for us? Islamic scholars believe being dutiful to parents is not confined to a specific time. Thus for every dutiful child who prays at least eleven times daily, at the end of the Tashahhud with the supplication; “My Lord! Forgive me and my parents…” will any particular day be enough for him to express his love towards his parents? Islam has given parents appreciation, not only for the particular day, but it is an obligation that should be observed every day, every month and every year even If our parents are dead. A deceased man may find his position with Allah (ST) improving, and he asks about the reason. He is told by Allah (ST) that it is through his child’s prayer for their forgiveness, by offering Hajj/umrah & perpetual charity in the shape of Madrasah or traveler’s inn, make a regular supply of water available to the people ( a well dug or tap installed), etc. Needless to say, this applies to both mothers and fathers, through the prayers of both their sons and daughters. No matter how great a burden the children bear, Prophet(pbuh) said ,”No child repays his parent fully unless he finds him a slave, then he buys him and sets him free,”( Al-Bukhari). Knowledge is the spirit that saves the heart from the death of ignorance. Acknowledging the great favor of the parents is essential to our faith, So let us Muslims not adapt the attitudes of the western culture in which we find ourselves today, but follow the traditions of our beloved Prophet and of the learned members of his family, and pray to God that He guide us to be respectful, kind, and obedient to our parents, and that we continue to show them humility regardless of the power, position, wealth, and influence we may possess and We ask Allah to extend our delight in our parents’ life, raise their grades, elevate their status, reward them generously, grant them dwelling in the High paradise and gather us and them in the Garden of Eden. Aameen.drfiazfazili
Honoring & Appreciating parents especially “Mother”- a symbol of supreme sacrifice.