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Keep the Romance Alive after having Kids

Keeping the romance going when you were first married was easy. Just the two of you in your own private love nest, it was all romance and roses. You swore to each other that no one could ever come between you.

Through the years since then, many, many things did squeeze between you. Bills, mortgage, in-laws and, of course, those little ones who seem to take up all your time. With the kids came diapers, skinned knees, sick stomachs, iffy school report cards and unhappy visits to the dentist and doctor. It’s difficult keeping the romance alive with all of those things happening, usually all at once.

Is there a way you can do something to try to rekindle that love light of your courtship and early marriage days? Well, despite your mutual feelings that things can never be the same again between you, there actually are ways to keep that romance alive. Hey, you two lovers, don’t despair. Her are a few suggestions.  

One way is to make a snap decision, drop everything and get away for an overnighter Ask a relative or other adult babysitter to watch the kids for 24 hours. Find a nice cozy motel nearby and just be alone together for one night uninterrupted by kid fights, toothaches or wet bed in the next room. Order in dinner, cool a bottle of wine and watch a romantic movie on TV. To break up the heavy schedules of work and kids, try to schedule this kind of quick getaway as often as possible.

If you can’t get away for an overnight tryst, plan a date night that includes a restaurant dinner and evening of dancing at the local club or hotel ballroom. For this, you’d only need a babysitter for four or five hours, giving you some precious moments to relive the charm of the time when you were date-night dancing sweethearts.

Go out on your overnight or four-hour dates together as frequently as possible. In the meantime, surprise each other with loving gifts. A bouquet of flowers for her, tickets to the big game for him. Leave little love notes on the computer or kitchen table. In case you’ve been neglecting each other, do a lot more hugging, kissing and whispered words of love.

When you can’t get out, wait until the kids are all in bed and have your date in the living room. Drink some wine and munch some chips while snuggling together on the couch watching a vintage romantic DVD movie starring Rhett and Scarlett or Bogie and Bacall. A roaring fireplace can help set the mood.

Once you’re back to regular dating again, and romance is once more blossoming, plan a really major lovers’ event. Book a cruise just for the two of you to a tropical isle destination. If you just can’t bear to leave the kids behind, invite your in-laws along on the cruise to act as babysitters. That will at least give you some quality time together to go dancing in the evenings, stroll the deck at midnight and enjoy some romantic privacy in your own stateroom.

It’s certainly possible to keep the romance alive after you’ve had kids. What it takes is a loving relationship, consideration for each other’s needs and the ability to get away from those kids once in awhile.

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