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How to Make Relationships Work

What is love? Is it an emotion, a verb or action, or something else? Many have experienced the feelings of falling in love and falling out of love. It is the natural cycle of a relationship, where people start off by spontaneously falling in love with another person. Lots of expressions were used to describe this feeling such as, “I was swept off my feet”. You didn’t have to do anything, but naturally you started to have feelings for someone. You want to meet them, want their touch, anticipating their calls and find their idiosyncrasies adorable. But after a few months or years of being together, the love fades.

Falling out of love is part of the natural cycle. When you become too comfortable with your partner and discovered their personalities in a deeper level, you will start to slowly but surely find your partner’s idiosyncrasies driving you nuts and even phone calls, dates or favors become a bother. This stage is when the arguments start to arise and where the love you once had starts to become dull. Some of you might start to ask the question, “Am I with the right person?”  You start to wonder how the love you once had turned out like this and whether you might want to experience that feeling of love again with someone else. Now the main idea here is that the key to having a successful relationship is not finding the right person, but learning to love the one you found. Now you could easily break off the relationship and you might probably be able to find someone else that you fall in love with again, but you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Sustaining love is hard and requires time, constantly every day, and effort as with all things. You need to be wise and make sure you know how to make the relationship work.

The most important thing is communication between you and your partner. If you have one goal and one direction together then anything is possible. In a religious sense, if you read in the bible about the Tower of Babel, God said that “if as one people speaking the same language they begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them”. And this is exactly what happened; the people had the same vision and were able to build a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens. Communicate constantly daily and understand your partner’s feelings, needs and wants and ask about how their day went.

Love is not just a feeling; it is also a decision and an action. Imagine you see a beggar on the side of the street, and you feel sorry inside so you donate a few pennies to him/her. This simple act is called an act of love, where even though you might not know anything about the person, you show love by donating money. You too must show acts of love to your partner even though your feelings might be fading in order for the relationship to work. This will even bring the feeling of love back.

Remember that God always determines who comes into your life, but it’s up to you who you let stay and refuse to let go or, who you let walk away. 

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