You have fallen, and it breaks my heart to see you bleed. I run toward you to help you up. You put your little hand up to tell me: “No, Mom; I can do it.” I am shattered inside but I know that this is what they call “growing pains.” I watch you painfully rise to your feet and hobble back into the house.
Inside, I am permitted to treat your wounds. Outside-in view of the world-I was forced to do “nothing” to help you. You’ve taken your first step toward being a man. And I have had my first lesson in doing “nothing.”
If there was a way to impart all my knowledge to you in an instant-I would do so; even if it meant that I would lose it forever. Instead, I am forced to teach you in increments what God expects of us.
You have grown now into a teenager. You spend more time with your friends than with me, and that -is as it should be. My forced bounds of non-intervention (a.k.a.”the nothing response”) grow daily as your boundaries expand outward in further steps to manhood.
Each time you leave me I am afraid. I know what chances you all take in competition. My reward for all of the “nothings” I have done is that even now, you kiss me on the cheek and tell me that you love me-right in front of your friends! What’s more, they hug me, kiss me on the cheek and tell me that they love me, too! How I am blessed!
You are proud of me.
When you were all hiking and you fell down the hill onto a sharp broken sapling which went through your body, I thought I was going to die. Jim called me and told me what had happened, and that they had gotten you safely to the hospital. I wanted to rush to you and see if I could comfort you! I needed to see and touch you, and know that my beloved son was all right!
But Jim told me that you said that there was no need to come to the hospital; that you were fine.
Your friends took care of you. It would have been shameful for “Mom” to rush to your side in their presence.
It felt as though my mother’s heart had been ripped from me! That was the greatest “nothing” I had ever had to do at that time.
I keep my “nothing” hurts silent: but they are many.
Now- you are a man.
The years have flown. And you have grown….up.
How poignant! Now, when you see me in trouble, or in pain, you want to rush to my side to help me!
And I have learned my final lesson about “nothing:”
“Sometimes, “nothing” is the greatest way to show someone you love them. And sometimes, accepting “something” instead of “nothing” is the greatest love of all.”
I am so blessed that you always rush to give me your “something”…………