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Dinner with God

So, I’m at the top table with God, a few archangels, angels, and fellow newly deceased, (incredible, as I am basically a non-believer) and I ask the question: “God, are you really real?”

The various heavenly dinner table conversations go quiet and I hear an angel mutter, “Hear we go, again. Not another one.”

God, or the bright light at the head of the table, answered: “I am as real as you want me to be. I exist everywhere and am all things to all people.”

I ask: “So, who are you and why should people worship you?”

And he answered (not by voice of course, but the warmth of the light conveys the answer): “I am but myself: the way and the light. I am Jehovah, Yahweh, Allah and a whole host of Gods. You worship me for I created you. That is as it should be.”

“But how are you all things at once?” I ask.

“Think of quantum theory. I am the universal superposition, like a photon making all choices on its path at the same time. I am the one to all; there is no conflicting or contrary belief, as I am everything and everywhere at once. I love and I smite; I am the lamb, I am vengeance. Everything at the same time.”

I kind of understood, but I had to ask for myself, as a non-believer if we had to believe in him: “How relevant are you then? Not everyone will worship you.”

“Haha,” God laughed. “I am as relevant as I need to be. Whosoever needs and wants me can worship me in their own fashion. I will never be alone without believers. I will always exist, and as long as people believe in existence, here I am.”

“I believe, therefore I exist. Is that it?” I asked.

“Something like that. But you do not believe in me, yet here you are talking to me.”

“I’m dreaming,” I said. “This is an existential journey I am taking in order to deny you; but to deny you, I have to confront you.”

“Oh,” Said God, somewhat disappointed.

I asked: “Where are you from? Were you born? Are you from our universe? Are you an alien?”

God seemed cautious here. “I’ve been around, done this, done that, you know. I’m not an extraterrestrial nor am I really corporeal. I walk many planes of existence, through all the ages, and a few dimensions. I am of the body, mind, and spirit. I have always been and ever will be.” He looked a bit smug or at least the light seemed to dance.

“Not an entirely satisfactory answer.” I said, “Which is why I and many others don’t believe in you. There are no straightforward answers forthcoming.”

“Why should I reveal everything to you? Why should I have to answer your questions? There are men who seek to be Gods in their own right; those false idols and prophets whether scientists, so-called priests, or politicians who also do not have all the answers, yet you follow them blindly.”

“Ah,” I replied. “I guess we’re just sheep.” I changed the subject: “Why did you cast out Lucifer? Can’t you reconcile with him as you want us humans to do on Earth? Why should everyone in the afterlife follow you blindly?”

“It is Lucifer who prolongs his own exile. His pride is unbridled and he will not accept any conditions. He really would rather rule in Hell than serve in Heaven. And as the creator, I should be followed, not just blindly, but with open hearts and minds.”

“Serve in Heaven? Why don’t people or angels have free will in Heaven?”

God smiled. “They do, but free will is governed by me of course. Free will is but quantum fluctuations of the mind and I created it all, so I get to say how it works and who it works for.”

“You sound like a scientist.”

“I am. I created everything that you would call biology, physics and chemistry. I created you to evolve. I am the Scientist God!”

Some of the dinner guests were shocked by this. They thought science and God could not be reconciled. Now they knew better. I continued. “So do you think people use you as an excuse for all their actions? Do you deny people their true inheritance of thought, word, and deed?”

He looked at me, or at least the searing light beamed brighter in my direction. “Am I making you ask me these questions?”

“I don’t know. Are you? The illusion of free will is still but a prison. Why keep us locked up, God? Why not let us see our jailer? Show yourself!” I trembled in fear as the light flared, and then all was warmth again.

“To see me is to see yourself. Remember, I am God to everyone, a reflection of their beliefs. If everyone on Earth saw me at the same time, they would see and describe different things; their own interpretations, their dreams, fears and prayers. I am but the light and not as you are.”

“Good answer, God. But that is the problem. One day, as scientists near discovering the Theory of Everything knowing the mind of God, religionists will want to know the mysteries of God; who you are, why you created us to worship you, what is your ultimate role for us, and when your son will return.” I looked around for Jesus, but he wasn’t at the table. “You are secretive to the point of paranoia. You portray yourself as an all-mysterious force without proof of existence and that scares a lot of people. Some affirmation should be forthcoming in this life, rather than the next. Why can’t you just show yourself?”

“Are you a psychologist, now?”

“No. But I think that if we knew everything about you, then your power would be gone. You need us humans more than we need you!”

But God was dismissive: “As God I have nothing to prove. You either believe in me or you don’t. That really is your choice. And that’s all I have to say. But just for you, I will tell you this secret to prove my existence.

Just then a cherub flew by and offered me dessert; angel cake, of course. But the distraction broke my concentration. And I woke up from my dream. I swore I heard fading laughter.

Did God mean for that to happen or did I not want to know the truth? I couldn’t decide, so I went back to sleep and dreamed of lunch with Satan.