Ending a relationship is not always easy but when you are in an abusive relationship things can seem much more difficult. There may be a number of reasons why you may have trouble ending the relationship. The tips in this article will help you learn how to end an abusive relationship permanently without putting your well-being in jeopardy.
While you may want to end an abusive relationship there may be some hurdles preventing you from doing so. Some people stay in an abusive relationship due to financial worries, others feel that their partner may change and some people may fear the consequences of ending an abusive relationship.
If you are in such a relationship you could find the following tips useful as they will help you learn how to end and abusive relationship:
Recognising the abuse:
Many people have the misconception that abuse is about physical violence and if there are no marks/scars on a person then they are not being abused. An abusive relationship involves sometimes emotional abuse too where a person is verbally assaulted or intimidated and it is important to recognise what type of abuse you are suffering first.
Abusive partners may apologize after an incident. During their apology they may be very charming and promise to make things better. After a while you may notice that once again they are becoming abusive. This pattern should tell you that the abuse is going to keep continuing and that they are not going to change.
Asking for help:
Family and friends are people who could offer you both support and encouragement that you need to end an abusive relationship. You can also turn to a doctor to report the physical abuse that you are suffering and they can often provide you with support. Just having someone to talk to can make things seem a little easier for some victims of abuse.
For some people though this may not be the best option as your partner may threaten to harm the people that you have turned to for help. You do not want to endanger the safety of your loved ones so it may be better to turn to a professional body to help you. There are many options available for help depending upon your situation.
For people who are in an abusive relationship looking for a way out there are many professional organizations who you can turn to. A number of organizations operate on nationally as well as a number of local organizations for victims of abuse. If you are scared for your own safety or that of your loved ones they can provide you with all the help you need.
If you are not able to physically go to their office you can contact them on their website or talk to them over the phone. Some organizations even have a website which you can quickly log out from without your partner noticing so you can protect yourself. They also have a lot of information you can use to help yourself with.
What is stopping you?
Some people are not able to end an abusive relationship and it is important that you understand what those reasons are. Take some time to really better understand your reasons for staying in the relationship despite the abuse. Is it the financial security, the hope your partner will improve or fear which is holding you back from ending the relationship?
Address each of the reasons and try and find the best solution. If financial worries are stopping you then you could talk to friends and family for money. If you are scared for your safety you could turn to the police. Arrange for a safe place to stay and how you will get there away from your partner first so that you can give yourself more security.
If you feel that your partner will stop you from leaving by force it is not the best idea to leave when they are there. Wait for the right moment to get yourself out from the situation so that you do not endanger yourself. Put some thought into developing an escape plan based on your situation which will ensure your safety.
Keep your belongings (birth certificates, passports and financial documents) close by so that you can quickly pack your stuff when you get the chance to escape. Waiting for your partner to go to work is usually best as you may be aware of what time they will be leaving and when they will be back.
‘No means no’:
When you have managed to end an abusive relationship you should not fall into the trap of going back. Many times a partner will try and persuade you to come back once again by making you promises of their newly changed behaviour. They may even use emotional blackmail (especially if you have children together) to get you to come back.
Give yourself all the time that you need and put yourself first. Rebuild your life and focus on creating an environment that is safe for you and your children. You may find it useful to talk to a therapist or a specialist who can help you overcome the abuse. Keep emergency numbers close by just in case your partner becomes abusive once again.
Ending an abusive relationship is not easy but it is necessary as no person deserves to live a life filled with anger and violence. The tips above are useful to help you learn how to end an abusive relationship and take yourself out of the situation.